Just smell the grass! The dirt! Just like I dreamed they'd be!...

I haven't blogged about my life in a bit, so here it goes...

Well, for starters, I'm back in Utah, which is most exciting. I have to say that I have missed it and that I am glad to be back. It was really nice to spend the first couple of days here with some of my family. They are so wonderful to me and I always feel at home with them, even though I haven't spent a lot of time with them during my life or gotten to know them super well. I am especially grateful to my cousins who pick me up from the airport and let me stay at their house and let me keep all my stuff at their house over the summer. They truly are amazing :)

 My job as a resident assistant (RA) is going swimmingly. Last week was training, and then this week residents have started showing up! But tomorrow is the big day when 70% of them actually move in...scary. And I am kind of nervous. I mean, what if they don't like me? what if I'm an epic fail as an RA? There's a lot more to the job than you think there is. But then again I'm probably worrying unnecessarily. I tend to do that.
But one thing that has been extra fantastic about this job are all the awesome people I got to meet. The other RAs (as well as my Hall Adviser) are amazing people. They're all so unique and I greatly appreciate them.

Sunday night my friend Melody and I were laying out in the quad looking at the stars and she brought up an amazing thought. The universe is so infinitely large and yet, who are we that Heavenly Father knows and cares about us each personally. How amazing is that! And the stars and just the whole world around us is so amazing and beautiful. And He made it that way just for us. It reminds me of a little saying:

God gave us all things that we might enjoy life. God gave us life that we might enjoy all things.  

It's just so amazing to me.

Another random thing: I am such a coward. So, yesterday, I was supposed to ask a boy to come with me on a double date with Melody and another boy, but I just couldn't bring myself to do it. I was too chicken. It's a problem. I'm just so painfully self-conscious that I'm afraid to. I'm afraid of looking silly or being rejected that it's easier just to stay home and not bother. I know...it's sad. I'm working on it, but it's so hard for me to just put myself out there. I definitely admire girls with enough self-confidence to just talk to boys and ask them on dates and stuff without being awkward or overly self-conscious...kudos to you! Someday I want to grow up to be like you.

So, as this new semester starts, I will be working on this, among many other things. Keep ya posted.

p.s. If you actually read all of this rambly nonsense...good for you :P

Thought of You

 This video was a product of the collaboration of the dance and animation departments at BYU.

What a beautiful and moving work of art. It's so simple yet so powerful.
I know I've felt this way sometimes. Sometimes it seems so hard to just keep moving, to even just get out of bed. But, it's getting better. I think about him less and less. It hurts to let him go, but I'm finally doing it.

And now some fantastic poems from "How to Survive the Loss of a Love" (a really fantastic and sometimes hilarious book):

I shall miss loving you.
I shall miss the
Comfort
of your embrace.
I shall miss the
Loneliness
of waiting for your
calls that never came.
I shall miss the Joy
of our comings,
and Pain
of your goings.
and,
after a time,
I shall miss
missing
loving
you.

To give you up.

What bell of freedom
that rings within me.
No more waiting for
letters
phone calls
postcards
that never came.
No more creative energy
wasted
in letters never mailed.
And, after awhilE,
no more insomnia,
no more insanity.
Some more happiness,
some more lifE.
All it took was giving you up.
And that took quite a bit.

always remember...

and so are you

Life, I love you, All is groovy.

I can't believe the end of Summer has crept up on me again, as it does every year. You would think that eventually it would fail to surprise me, that I would be ready for that sneak-attack, but, alas, I never am.
Well, folks, I have to say that this summer is wrapping up nicely. Lessons learned and stories to tell

House sitting, I learned that I do not particularly care for sleeping in other people's empty houses, alone. It kind of freaks me out. But the enticing call of the money to be made in this field of work convinced me to house/ pet sit a couple of weeks ago. As much as I didn't like it, it was a really good experience  and I learned a lot.   Especially when my parents decided that they were going to go out of town at the same time. This left me responsible for two houses, two dogs, a full-time job, a car, and a teenage boy. I'm not so sure that I want to grow up anymore...it was a lot of work :P Since I was alone, I learned to depend on Heavenly Father for company. I could really feel the presence of the Spirit and  felt so reassured and safe.

A couple of Saturdays ago I spontaneously decided to go and give blood. Now, for those of you who don't know, I had yet to go give blood unaccompanied and without the shedding of tears. That's right, I always cried whenever it came time to put the needle in. Well, this time I went by myself AND I DID NOT CRY! I know...what an accomplishment...I have to say I was rather proud of myself.

{sorry if this grosses you out}
[my older brother found it kind of disturbing when I sent it to him :)]

Last week was my final week of work for the summer...thank goodness! I liked my job, but, boy was I ready to be done. My last day of work my boss summoned (yes, summoned. he was kind of scary) me over and led be to the back of the library and what did I discover but all of my co-workers and a super awesome cake! They threw me a little going-away party :)

{:)}
[oh yeah, and, it was glittery on top]

{yellow cake with strawberry jam and pudding  filling}
[Pennsylvania Bakery...yum]

 This past Saturday I got to go to the Washington D.C. Temple again before I head back out to school. This time was especially neat because my dad and I went on family search and found some family names for me to do! And I also got an extra-special surprise in the parking lot. I got to see a Megan, a girl from my floor last year. It was so awesomely random that we both happened to be there at the same time! Especially since (she's going on a study abroad this semester) I won't get a chance to see her until after Christmas. What a blessing it was :)

This week is my run-around-like-a-chicken-with-it's-head-cut-off week. So much to do and so little time to do it. So far I did all my clothes shopping, tried Thai food for the first time (so good... if you live in Dillsburg, go to Pakha's Thai House, I highly recommend it), and got some much needed time with my bestie (naturally, this included Glee and some Ben and Jerry's... yum :). Then today I went with my parents to Philadelphia. The history freak that I am, we spent most of our time in Old City looking and touring all the historically significant buildings (Independence Hall, Carpenter's Hall, Congress Hall, etc.). Then headed over to city hall and the Franklin Institute. My favorite was definitely Independence Hall. It's such a special place and there's a certain spirit in the room where they signed the Declaration of Independence and the Constitution. I definitely believe that they were divinely inspired documents. And I also love to see the presence of religion and God in our early government

{on the floor in the entryway of Carpenter's Hall}
[the meeting place of the First Continental Congress]

{I know it's really dark, but the bottom of it reads: "Virtue Justice Independence"}
[located in Independence Hall]

Oh, and update on the boy: he is doing fantastically in the MTC, learning Portuguese and what not :)

{he's not as little as he looks, his comp is just really big ( 6' 4")}

Friday is the big day! Heading back out to Utah!!! Ready for a fantastic new year at BYU :) I'll keep ya'll posted on all my adventures :P

What do I know of God?

In a world so unimaginably large, I wonder how God managed to find space for me.

Not just the kind of space my body fills, Not only the space given me to live in, 

But the space inside His heart.

I wonder if He finds it difficult, To love unconditionally every creature, From the moment it takes its first breath.

I suppose He doesn't.

But what do I know of God?

What do I know, Besides that He is wonderful?

What do I know, Besides that He is loving,

And gentle, And kind?

What do I know?
I, A quite ordinary girl...

What do I know of God?
I suppose I might say, That every time I have needed Him, He was there.
And from that I know He is always watching.
I suppose I might say, That when I felt lonely, He assured me that I would never truly be alone.

And from that I know that He cares.

I suppose I might say, That when I cried, I felt Him crying with me.

And from that I know that He feels my pain.

I suppose I might say, That He knows all of my faults, And still loves me.

And from that I know that He is forgiving.

And then after all that, I suppose I might say, That God gave me you.

And from that I know He is very generous.

But that isn’t all!

I know, That God wanted me to look at something beautiful, Every time I woke up in the morning,

So He made a sunrise.

I know, That God wanted to amaze me,

So He put the moon in the sky.

I know, God wanted my heart to quicken when I saw His creation,

So He put the waves in the ocean.

As if that is not enough, I know that God wanted to give us something.

Wanted to give us something glorious, Something that we never could have received otherwise.

He wanted to give us life.

Here is where I really wonder.

I wonder, Was is easy?

Was it easy to give His only Son?

That I do not know.

I simply know that He did, And for that I am eternally grateful.

These things I know, So you judge,

What do I, A quite ordinary girl, Know of God?

I say, Just enough.

 ~Erica Oldroyd ("The Things I Know")

This beautiful poem has prime seating  in the front of my scriptures. I absolutely love it.