Today was just one of those days...

One of those awesome days, that is :)
I absolutely love general conference weekend! It is so wonderful to be able to spend hours just sitting there listening to the servants of the Lord and hearing them tell me what the Lord would have me hear. That is one of the most fantastic things about it, even though everyone hears or reads the same words, we all get something different and uniquely personal out of it.
I started off the morning by getting up nice and early and going on a lovely run. I ran up by the temple and decided to just go and have a sit for a few minutes on the temple grounds and what a great decision that was. Just being near the temple, you can feel the special spirit that it holds and it gave me a jump start to preparing to listen to conference. Then I made pancakes and scrambled eggs and had breakfast with Terra and Morgan (two of my wonderfully fantastic co-RAs). And the best thing about this breakfast was that it was all natural and local. That's right. We had 16-grain pancake mix from the farmer's market, real maple syrup, and fresh raspberries from the farmer's market...yum :) This is the kind of thing that just makes me so excited, it's kind of ridiculous. I just love buying and making and eating food that's good for my body and makes me feel good. Then came the first session of conference and President Monson announced that they are renovating the Provo Tabernacle and that it will become the the second Provo Temple!!! So exciting :D
Both sessions were great and I look forward to tomorrow.
Today I also cleaned my room, did some laundry, did some homework, and took a nap. so...a very productive and uplifting day indeed.

You Are Not Forgotten

This is an exerpt from President Uchtdorf's talk at the General Relief Society Meeting last night. Probably my favorite part. If you didn't get a chance to go, I highly encourage you to read or listen to the talks given. It was truly an uplifting experience.

{forget-me-not}

the space between the tears we cry is the laughter that keeps us coming back for more

Life seems to always run away from me. It's been a while and I have a lot to report. So... going all the way back to the Sunday before last Sunday (I know...it's an awful long time ago). First of all, it was my older brother, Matthew's birthday and he turned 21, which is so crazy! He cannot possibly already be that old. But this just means that him coming home is coming up soon!!! He gets home November 23rd of THIS YEAR and  (a.k.a. two months from yesterday!!!) I am unbelievably excited! Christmas is going to be pretty much the best Christmas ever. True story. This is a picture of him from this past week:

{Matthew and Hemma, a woman he baptized }

Sunday evening Elder Oaks came and spoke at the CES Fireside. He spoke about truth and tolerance, which I found to be an interesting choice. His talk was very helpful in clarifying the difference between being tolerant and compromising our values. On Tuesday Elder Anderson came and spoke at devotional. Honesty was the topic of his talk and I thoroughly enjoyed it. He said that as we work at becoming more perfectly honest that it will be so much easier to have and feel the presence of the Spirit. I also had a doctor's appointment on Tuesday and got my blood drawn for the first time and, to be perfectly honest, it really wasn't that bad. And coming from me...that's saying something.

On Thursday I got to see most of my Hinckley 3200 girls!!! We got together for our "3200 Third Thursday" and I was fantastic. I didn't really realize how much I missed them all until we were back together. When I'm with them, it's like...home. All is right in the world (at least for a little while :P). It's different than anything else.

{ :) }

Viernes pasó tiempo con mi amiga Codie y hablabamos español toda la noche y cocinamos cena. Then after I went over to Brianna and Alissa's apartment with Kelli and Magin and we watched 27 Dresses together and talked and ate ice cream. Pretty much the best thing ever. 




Last weekend I had two dates. That's right TWO, in the same weekend! I know...whoa. Not a super common occurrence for me (I mean, going on dates at all). On Saturday my date and I went to go see the Tanglewood Marionettes at the HFAC. They did the story of Perseus and Medusa and it was fairly entertaining. On Sunday mi amiga, Melody, and I had a double with two other RAs. We made some delicious Brazilian food together and then ate dinner together and just talked and whatnot. It was fantastic! We made feijoada and Brazilian rice and pao de queijo and it was SO good!

{feijoada (a kind of black bean stew) on Brazilian rice and  pao de queijo (Brazilian cheese bread)}
[yes, we are poor college students and used paper plates and plastic ware, as well as paper towels for place mats] 

{it was so yummy}
[we were rather proud of our mad cooking skills (and a bit surprised :P)]

Sunday was just a fantastic day in general. The talks in Sacrament meeting were about the Holy Ghost. About being able to recognize the promptings of the Spirit and then listen to and act upon them. And all the talks were so good! Then in Relief Society the RS presidency split the lesson and took turns sharing their thoughts. I really loved the lesson given by my RS president. She talked about the Atonement of Christ, but instead of focusing on the redeeming quality of it, she focused on the often overlooked enabling quality of the Atonement. That through Christ we can receive the strength and courage to accomplish all that is required of us. We don't have to do everything by ourselves, He will help us, we need only ask. Here's a quote that pretty much sums it up:

     There is no physical pain, no anguish of soul, no suffering of spirit, no infirmity or weakness that you or I ever experience during our mortal journey that the Savior did not experience first. You and I in a moment of weakness may cry out, "No one understands. No one knows." No human being, perhaps, knows. But the Son of God perfectly knows and understands, for He felt and bore our burdens before we ever did. And because He paid the ultimate price and bore that burden, He has perfect empathy and can extend to us His arm of mercy in so many phases of our life. He can reach out, touch, and succor--literally run to us--and strengthen us to be more than we could ever be and help us to do that which we could never do through relying only upon our own power.

           ~Elder David A. Bednar, "In the Strength of the Lord"

I know that this is definitely one lesson that I have learned in the past year. There are sometimes that I'm not really sure how I managed, but then I remember that those are the times that I most earnestly sought the help of the Lord and that He most abundantly blessed me. There are sometimes when I know that that's all that gets me through and it is more than enough.

This past week has been a little on the crazy side. I had two tests, a project, and a paper due...whew.  Monday was the birthday de mi hermanito. He turned 17 and it just blows my mind. On Thursday I went to the farmer's market (which I am practically in love with) and then went to go see the beautiful Terra in the Choral Showcase (she's in Women's chorus and it was way good :). Yesterday I went to the only BYU football game that I'll make it to this year and we won! Thank goodness it wasn't as tragic as the Utah game :P Then we had the safety week dance in Helaman. Needless to say, I sure was ready for a good night's rest.

{me and Melody at the Safety Week dance :)}

This week has actually been kind of a struggle, but it's the kind of weeks like these that really help me remember and appreciate the great gift that Christ has given us. The gift of the Atonement. It could have been a lot worse, but He was there by my side and gave me the courage and strength to keep pressing forward.

note to self: do not buy candy and then proceed to eat it, you will just beat yourself up later nixing any enjoyment that you may have gotten from eating it in the first place. oh, and it's really bad for you and full of stuff that you probably, really, don't want to eat anyway. bummer


Well, I need to go do all the homework that I have neglected to do thus far this weekend. thanks for reading and good luck in all your endeavors this week :) 

Wishing you were somehow here again...

What a week! The week started with a loverly three day weekend. I surely needed it. Friday and Saturday I was that lame person who stayed home and did their laundry and homework and stuff. I know...I'm such a party animal. At least, that's what I was doing until mi amiga, Melody, managed to persuade me to go shopping. Good times. Sunday was another beautiful Sabbath day here in the valley. As hard as it can be sometimes, I really do love fast Sundays with testimony meeting and all. It is especially nice now when we are all trying to get to know each other.  Monday was labor day so I slept in a bit and then finally went and hiked the Y for the first time! and what a hike it is. Just getting to the trail head was a workout. But we survived.

{the trail head}
[pretty cool...huh?]

{a fantastic view of the temple from the top}

{we made it!}
[me and two of my super cool residents :)]

Tuesday was back to classes as well as the first devotional of the semester! I absolutely love devotional! Since it was the first one President and Sister Samuelson spoke. President Samuelson's choice of topic was perfection. He said that perfection and worthiness are not the same thing, but that many of us confuse the two. We are commanded to be perfect, but this is a process that takes place on an eternal time scale and only with the help of our Savior, Jesus Christ. Perfectionism is corrosive and destructive. We need to understand that we do not and cannot have control over everything and therefore should not blame ourselves unduly. We shouldn't have unrealistic expectations of ourselves: "You can't be purer than pure". He also noted that self-reliance is important but that we should not withdraw from the Lord. He will not withdraw His hand, but we need to reach for it: we do not and cannot become perfect by ourselves; we attain it because of Grace. But, we also need to do our part --> do our best, accept the Lord fully, love others, and love ourselves. 
Throughout the whole message it was like he was speaking to me. I know I definitely struggle with perfectionist tendencies and am therefore very hard on myself much of the time. I know that I often forget to  love myself...it's a problem. Sometimes to the point that I just don't do things for fear of failure, for fear that I won't be good enough. Which brings me to an awesome quote:
  "It is impossible to live without failing at something. Unless you live so cautiously that you might as well not
   have lived at all -- in which case, you fail by default."
           ~J.K. Rowling
That is so true. This has inspired another one of my goals for this semester: to stop waiting for things to happen and to go out and make them happen. To put myself  out there and get out of my comfort zone a little bit.
Yesterday was just one of those up and down days. I started out the day by doing to the temple, which is the best. But then my morning was ruined by a trip to the dentist. It was very unfortunate. And since I was upset, it made me miss him because all I really wanted was for him to be there and to hold me and tell me that everything was going to be okay. But then right after that I had lunch with a super awesome person named Jill! And that made it better. But then I was walking to the creamery last night, past the bell tower, and I was already missing him so the memories just came back and, alas, I was sad again. So yeah, I guess that's just kind of how life goes sometimes. And when that's how it goes I just remember all the things that my Heavenly Father has blessed me with and figure that things aren't so bad after all. Oh, and yesterday I finally got my first pair of Toms...yay!:

{ :] }

Note on Kade: he has been in the Provo MTC for 8 weeks and still has not received his visa so earlier this week he was temporarily assigned to serve in the Washington D.C. South mission! So cool. Even cooler...I told my parents this and discovered that the place where I was born is in that mission. Okay so maybe that isn't as cool as I think it is, but...it's still kind of random.

Note to self: for you music kids, in choir today I learned that "intonation is an attitude" ...interesting way of looking at it, but it kind of makes sense.

too school for cool

Well, school is officially in session! What a week. I've had who knows how many first days of school and yet it never fails to instill in me a faint sense of horror at the thought of all the work ahead of me. But lets go back a little further than Monday.

So... the day after my last post was Wednesday, the day that 70% of out residents here at Helaman Halls move-in. Move-in day = complete zoo. Luckily I only had to work 5 hours checking people in and then I got to go work at our opening social which is so much fun :) The rest of last  week was spent in getting ready for school and working shifts checking people in and Friday night was spent working my first regular shift in the hall office. Then came Saturday. On Saturday I accomplished the gargantuan task of asking a boy on a date. I know...whoa. Granted, it was a triple date and I didn't actually ask him in person (we made super-awesome invitations and stuck them in their mailboxes) but it was a great feat all the same. And the best part...they all said YES! I then finished off this fantastic day meeting some new people at my ward social (and my Bishop who was actually in the bishopric of my ward last year! I know, I am so lucky :P) and going for a wonderful run around campus. Sunday was the first day of church in our new wards and my first floor meeting! Now that was a rather scary experience. As an RA, residents can be very intimidating. But I made them funfetti cake-batter cookies and kept it short so all was well .

Then, all too soon, it was Monday. duh, Duh, DUH.... but I survived. Then Monday night was FHE and then our date! For our date we went and got shave ice at a little stand right off campus then walked up to Rock Canyon Park to watch Tron on a giant, blow-up, outdoor movie screen. It was fantastic (both the movie and the company)!

us and our dates : ]

Tuesday passed without incident until I decided to add a new class. Then I had to run around like crazy returning textbooks and getting notes and playing catch-up, but now I am satisfied with my schedule.  I am particularly looking forward to my New Testament class with Camille Fronk Olson!!! What I am really excited about for this class is the personal project. We get to do a semester-long personal project of our own choosing. For mine I'm pretty sure I'm going to read Jesus the Christ along with our assigned readings and keep a study journal of it, with the specific goal of coming to better know my Savior Jesus Christ. I can't wait :)

One of my goals this school year is to stay in better shape and maybe even perhaps run a half marathon in the spring and...I've actually managed to drag myself out of bed at the crack of dawn on the majority of the mornings this week. It's sooooo hard to get out of my nice, warm, comfortable bed to go running outside in the cold semi-darkness, but somehow, I managed. And it always feels good afterwards. I don't think there's ever a time when I'm like "gee, I really regret exercising and  keeping my body healthy and strong.." yeah, no, I always feel better afterwards.
I'm so glad today is Friday! I am so ready for a nice long weekend to get myself all caught-up and squared away and ready for another week of school.

Note to self.... pretzel m&ms are delicious! If you haven't tried them, you MUST...

oh, and here are some pictures of a bit of my hall decorations:

{my hall theme is true colors (like an individual worth type deal)}
[this is the bulletin board]

{and this is the mirror next to it :)}

Then I just have quotes on the walls. Some of which have to do with my theme, others of which are just ones that I like. Such as this one:
                 "I have been driven many times to my knees by the overwhelming conviction
                  that I had nowhere else to go."
                          ~Abraham Lincoln
I have to say, I could definitely relate to this one this past week. There was just a moment when I felt so overwhelmed with work and school and everything else that I just didn't know what to do, I didn't know how I was going to make it all work. And finally  (it probably took me longer than it should have) I just got down on my knees and that was all I needed. So remember that, and don't let it take you so long. Prayer doesn't need to be the last resort, in fact, it shouldn't be.

Well, that's it for this week. Week 2...bring it on. I'll catch ya'll on the flip side :)

Just smell the grass! The dirt! Just like I dreamed they'd be!...

I haven't blogged about my life in a bit, so here it goes...

Well, for starters, I'm back in Utah, which is most exciting. I have to say that I have missed it and that I am glad to be back. It was really nice to spend the first couple of days here with some of my family. They are so wonderful to me and I always feel at home with them, even though I haven't spent a lot of time with them during my life or gotten to know them super well. I am especially grateful to my cousins who pick me up from the airport and let me stay at their house and let me keep all my stuff at their house over the summer. They truly are amazing :)

 My job as a resident assistant (RA) is going swimmingly. Last week was training, and then this week residents have started showing up! But tomorrow is the big day when 70% of them actually move in...scary. And I am kind of nervous. I mean, what if they don't like me? what if I'm an epic fail as an RA? There's a lot more to the job than you think there is. But then again I'm probably worrying unnecessarily. I tend to do that.
But one thing that has been extra fantastic about this job are all the awesome people I got to meet. The other RAs (as well as my Hall Adviser) are amazing people. They're all so unique and I greatly appreciate them.

Sunday night my friend Melody and I were laying out in the quad looking at the stars and she brought up an amazing thought. The universe is so infinitely large and yet, who are we that Heavenly Father knows and cares about us each personally. How amazing is that! And the stars and just the whole world around us is so amazing and beautiful. And He made it that way just for us. It reminds me of a little saying:

God gave us all things that we might enjoy life. God gave us life that we might enjoy all things.  

It's just so amazing to me.

Another random thing: I am such a coward. So, yesterday, I was supposed to ask a boy to come with me on a double date with Melody and another boy, but I just couldn't bring myself to do it. I was too chicken. It's a problem. I'm just so painfully self-conscious that I'm afraid to. I'm afraid of looking silly or being rejected that it's easier just to stay home and not bother. I know...it's sad. I'm working on it, but it's so hard for me to just put myself out there. I definitely admire girls with enough self-confidence to just talk to boys and ask them on dates and stuff without being awkward or overly self-conscious...kudos to you! Someday I want to grow up to be like you.

So, as this new semester starts, I will be working on this, among many other things. Keep ya posted.

p.s. If you actually read all of this rambly nonsense...good for you :P

Thought of You

 This video was a product of the collaboration of the dance and animation departments at BYU.

What a beautiful and moving work of art. It's so simple yet so powerful.
I know I've felt this way sometimes. Sometimes it seems so hard to just keep moving, to even just get out of bed. But, it's getting better. I think about him less and less. It hurts to let him go, but I'm finally doing it.

And now some fantastic poems from "How to Survive the Loss of a Love" (a really fantastic and sometimes hilarious book):

I shall miss loving you.
I shall miss the
Comfort
of your embrace.
I shall miss the
Loneliness
of waiting for your
calls that never came.
I shall miss the Joy
of our comings,
and Pain
of your goings.
and,
after a time,
I shall miss
missing
loving
you.

To give you up.

What bell of freedom
that rings within me.
No more waiting for
letters
phone calls
postcards
that never came.
No more creative energy
wasted
in letters never mailed.
And, after awhilE,
no more insomnia,
no more insanity.
Some more happiness,
some more lifE.
All it took was giving you up.
And that took quite a bit.